I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
