I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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