if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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