I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
