she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I have tasted many bathrooms
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize