also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
