I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize