White coat. Heels.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
