David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize