His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
