I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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