at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
