I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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