What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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