She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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