So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
