Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
im on a boat
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