Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
