You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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