Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
