Cold hands, warm shart.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
