benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
