38 yer olds are good kisserssss
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize