Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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