What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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