But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
