Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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