careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Randomize
