6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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