did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
