soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I FOUND THE LEGS
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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