You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
