I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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