He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
