Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
