If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
