It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
