i permit you to call me
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
