We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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