My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
