My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
