That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
