I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
