dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
