yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
