he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize