nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
