I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
