You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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