your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
