Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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