Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
