We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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