just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Michael Bay diarrhea
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
