I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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