The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
