just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
