Buhtt sex?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
