So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I don't think brook has ever known best
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
