I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize