New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
