I'm eating all of the evidence.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
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