I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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