Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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