is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
