Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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