Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
