I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
